What Was & What Will Never Be
Short stream of consciousness.
The COVID lockdowns stole the last several months of my mother's life.
It's been 3 years, but I don't think I will ever get over being angry.
When I think beyond just my personal experience, read all these accounts of similar situations-with memorials held via Zoom, and loved ones having to arrange things online rather than in person, I get furious.
My mother never had COVID. Several years ago the doctors found a spot on her left lung and she opted for radiation treatment first before diving into chemo. After several treatments, the cancer was no longer present and it bought her a few more years. Unfortunately, the radiation left a huge cavity in her lung, which would later become unmanageable.
In the fall of 2019, she had pneumonia, and by January 2020 she was admitted into ICU. I remember getting the call and then driving several hours to go see her. They had her on a ventilator and heavily sedated. There was no way to know whether or not she knew anyone was there talking to her or not since she couldn’t respond.
That was the last “visit” I would have with my mother in person.
She spent the next several weeks in ICU, and at one point seemed to be out of the woods. They removed her ventilator and actually moved her to a nursing home to continue recovering.
